Why You Should NOT Hire Us To Remodel Your Home

Choosing a remodeler can be hard. We’ll help make it easier: here are five reasons you should not, under ANY circumstance, hire us to be your contractor.

  1. We care way too much. Honestly, it looks a little desperate. Why are we so eager to please our customers? Aiming for on time AND on budget on EVERY project just seems a little try-hard, don’t you think? We should really care less about quality. A faulty plumbing installation every now and then would probably make us look cooler, anyways.
  2. We’re really chatty. It’s like, can’t we just shut up for once? We’re always talking with our customers, updating them and making sure they’re happy – they’ve got to be tired of us by now. Plus, we maintain such a high level of communication with our subcontractors that we’re friends with many of them. That’s so lame.
  3. Our subcontractors are TOO high quality. Speaking of subcontractors – ours are really good. Like, embarrassingly good. Yeah, perfect paint jobs and exquisite tile installs are cool, but haven’t they tried just, like, kicking their boots off and not trying so hard? Nerds.
  4. We have way too many happy customers. If you’ve checked out our Houzz profile, you’ve seen dozens of five-star reviews from happy customers talking about how they just love their new homes. That sure sounds like a scam, doesn’t it? We think so, too. And all those industry awards we’ve won? I think they just gave them to us because they felt bad for us.
  5. We have an annoyingly adorable dog working at our office. To top it all off, if you ever come to our office for a meeting you’ll have to deal with this STUPIDLY cute and friendly Maltese-Yorkie-Poodle mix. He’s so loving it’s kind of off-putting.

 

Pro Tip: don’t trust anyone who’s this happy at work.

So, there you have it: five reasons why we really, absolutely, totally suck. Five reasons why we should NEVER be hired to be your remodeler. Five points proving that we are 100,000% just the worst. Now go out there and find an actual good contractor to hire!

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